When a baby doesn't get their needs met, they don't start thinking: "My mom must be having a hard day, my dad might be struggling with his mental health, my parents have past trauma that impedes their daily functioning..." They don't start thinking any of these things at all.

Instead, they start to internalize and believe that something must be wrong with THEM to be treated (or not treated) in this way.

A baby or little one does not have the prefrontal cortex or developmental know-how to realize that someone else's capacity for his or her needs has nothing to do with their inherent worthiness as a human.

When the baby doesn't get its needs met (whether it's basic living resources like food, drink, shelter, care, or developmental needs like: to be seen, heard, known, felt, held, attuned to, taken care of, loved, adored, attentiveness...) the beginning of beliefs like "I must not be wanted, loveable, too much, etc." get created.

So as a little one, we learned to use others' capacity to meet our needs to dictate our own sense of worthiness.

This is a big reason why abandonment and attachment wounds are so prevalent. They got created as very small children, often in infanthood, and for that reason they can be ingrained in our psyche and soma for a long time.

There is support for these wounds and these deep-seated feelings. As an adult, you get to reclaim your worthiness without the template of others' capacity to meet your very real needs, and relearn your inherent, God-given lovability.